1. There are two reasons for sex, and they are to create life and become one with your mate. Pleasure is not a reason for sex:

A. No one who is unmarried and has not dedicated themselves to each other for a lifetime is ready to create life.

B. Becoming one begins with the first sexual encounter, but it takes a lifetime to bring to fruition.

C. Most pre-marital sexual relationships tend to be short lived, and do not progress to marriage.

D. Pleasure is an effect and motivator but not a reason for sex.

2. The most common reason people give for having sex before marriage is that they are in love:

A. Most who claim to be in love cannot define the word. They therefore find themselves defending an action using a word they cannot define.

B. A reasonable Christian definition for love is to act to another’s highest good even if it means the sacrifice of oneself.

C. It is in our highest good to have sex within marriage. That is where it is best to create life, and it is where we have the time and the reason to become one.

3. People often confuse infatuation with love:

A. Infatuation is when we meet someone and the skyrockets go off, and we think we have met the first goddess or second god to ever walk the earth.

B. This is very much a feeling based phenomenon tinged with sexual desire.

C. At this stage we don’t so much love the person as we do the feeling the person creates in us. Therefore it tends towards selfishness and self-centeredness.

D. Infatuation is usually necessary to initially draw us to someone, but it is not yet the self-sacrificial love that will be necessary for a good marriage.

E. It is certainly not a valid reason to begin engaging in sexual relations.

4. Many guys will desire to have sex before marriage in order to gain experience so that when they do get married they will be better able to satisfy their spouse:

A. This is not only an insult to women, as it makes them the scrub team upon whom the first team is practicing, but it is also a misunderstanding of sexual relations.

B. Sex involves the entire person. One’s personality, past and present experiences, personal likes and dislikes, as well as many other factors are all involved.

C. So sex with someone before marriage will not be the same as sex with one’s spouse during marriage. In fact, it may harm the relationship, as those memories will not go away just because one has gotten married.

D. One will always compare like experiences.

5. Guys will often give love to obtain sex, and women will often give sex in order to obtain love:

A. Guys can often times separate sex from relationship, but with women the two are always intimately intertwined.

B. The average sexual relationship in college will last a semester or two.

C. Women need to realize that they are not getting the relationship they desire, and guys need to realize that sex without long-term commitment is shallow and sleazy.